Winter

Sun has set

i make my way to the sink and wash my face

washing away impurities-

i place masks over what i don't like-bandaids over gaping wounds,

skin colored so no one else will notice what i choose to forget instead of forgive

till the impurities take over my appearance and thoughts hear only echos

like a shocked ghost,

you speak dim light through the halls of my lungs

illuminating the part of me that wishes to give up-

like wishes upon a shooting star, hanging until it falls to its doom beneath the horizon

i cry in my mothers arms

she tells me to write the emotions i trust not unto audible words,

unable to pack the punch i wish i faced without flinching eyes.

but, i do what must be done,

although the done is never finished.

Cadence is your presence left.

Carrying on when all else has stopped

like the spinning green we call our home

you left because i made you

on wings of eagles, you fly too high for anyone to touch,

because touch is a fault

but you longed for it, didn't you?

lies!

As i once longed, you once satisfied the needs i never knew i had

till the day my eyes were no longer blind,
and sirens penetrated my ears

you laughed, not knowing the hands of my time grasped the murder weapon

stumbling backwards for the fear of what I had just done.

i wash my hands of you,

but there's dirt under the nails, so i painted them blue

hoping to balance the scent of chemicals we experimented with,

I wished for us to survive the ice age.

The water melting me as it was,

puddles my brothers and sisters,

i write with blood so you will know i have not forgotten
the lyrics, the harmonies,the revolving records

you broke and scratched to feel the colors on its face,
the faces we would bring forth into the world, if dam was not built.

To the rushing water i see in your hungry eyes, i looked for salvationand found it,

until the pressure wore me down.

earthquake. i shake.

you hold my hands steady

but not steady enough

containing not what must be held captive

the monster inside let loose,

with hopeful love you urged it onward

not knowing what you were doing

you saw it take hold in me and stabbed it in the ribs

water and blood coloring the pages we read

But the cursed are the cursed, and hands can only steady for a time, so

i tried to steady mine
built new cages, hoped echos fade in time

now when the sun sets, and darkness manifests

i see, the ghosts and monsters that color my lips.

i wash my wounds, my hands, and my face,with the lakes in your eyes, now flowing freely.