Waterworks

Sun has set
i make my way to the sink and wash my face
washing away impurities
i place masks over what i don't like
band-aids over gaping wounds,
skin colored so no one else will notice what i choose to forget
instead of forgive
till the impurities take over my appearance
and thoughts hear only echos
like a shocked ghost,
you speak dim light through the halls of my lungs,
illuminating the part of me that wishes to give up
like wishes upon a shooting star,
hanging until it falls to its death beneath the horizon
i cry in my mothers arms
she tells me to write the emotions i trust not unto audible words,
unable to pack the punch i wish i faced without flinching eyes.

but,
i do what must be done,
although the done is never finished.
Cadence is your presence left.
Carrying on when all else has stopped
like the spinning green we call our home
you left because i made you
on wings of eagles,
you fly too high for anyone to touch,
because touch is a fault,
but you longed for it,
didn't you?
lies!
As i once longed,
you once satisfied the needs i never knew i had till the day
my eyes were no longer blind,
and sirens penetrated my ears
you laughed,
not knowing that the wrists of my time grasped the murder weapon
stumbling backwards for the fear of what I had just done.

i wash my hands of you, but there's dirt under the nails,
so i painted them blue
hoping to balance the scent of chemicals we experimented with,
I wished for us to survive the ice age.
The water melting me as it was,
puddles my brothers and sisters,
i write with blood so you will know i have not forgotten the lyrics,
the harmonies,the revolving records you broke and scratched
to feel the colors on its face,
the faces we would wreak havoc upon,
if dam was not built.
To the rushing water i see in your hungry eyes,
i looked for salvation and found it,
until the pressure wore me down.
earthquake.
i shake.
you hold my hands steady but not steady enough
containing not what must be held captive,
the monster inside let loose,
with hopeful love you urged it onward
not knowing what you were doing
you saw it take hold in me and stabbed it in the ribs
water and blood coloring the pages we read
But the cursed are the cursed,
and hands can only steady for a while,
so i tried to steady mine
built new cages,
hoped echos fade in time
now when the sun sets, and darkness manifests
i see, the ghosts and monsters that color my lips.
i wash my wounds,
my hands,
and my face,
with the lakes in your eyes,
now flowing freely.