And some times, like these, all the lights turn out, and I become the only beating heart inhaling and exhaling on this revolving sphere of night. I am the pinpoint spotlight on a blank map. I am a blossom in the fog of winter.
I am the one writing the things that keep me awake at four in the morning.
When memories seep back, and people too.
When, for a few hours, you've embraced the sensation of flight, only to remember gravity.
When you're forced to speak of that you believed was quelled.
When the timing was never right.
When friends do the unthinkable, and unthinkable are the friends.
When he's out of town and she's too far gone to feel that which you felt.
When before you is a face of ambiguous sadness.
When no one realizes it became your face.
How do you take a step forward?
And the things I say I'm proud of.
And the things I don't, ashamed.
And I hate my job and I hate the cold
And my body's fragile frame
And she is the one who did this, knowing it would hurt.
And we tried so hard to keep her straight, instead of in the dirt.
And they are but flecks upon muscle of heart and of brain,
And I am the one making lists of things when four thirty in the morning brings pain.
I never remember 11:11
nor do I see shooting stars
I'm so confused of heaven since I'm here, and i don't know where you are.
I want wings and open fields to fly or run with pride
I want to remember how it feels to live with exposed eyes
I want to love fully and let go
instead of behind bars
But at times like these, the echos
ring like wheels in speeding cars.
Sometimes I don't know if God exists, although I still capitalize His name.
Sometimes I'm afraid of love since I lost it that one day
Sometimes I think of you, searching for verification
when I'm the only one awake at five in the morning, begging for justification.
I am the one writing the things that keep me awake at four in the morning.
When memories seep back, and people too.
When, for a few hours, you've embraced the sensation of flight, only to remember gravity.
When you're forced to speak of that you believed was quelled.
When the timing was never right.
When friends do the unthinkable, and unthinkable are the friends.
When he's out of town and she's too far gone to feel that which you felt.
When before you is a face of ambiguous sadness.
When no one realizes it became your face.
How do you take a step forward?
And the things I say I'm proud of.
And the things I don't, ashamed.
And I hate my job and I hate the cold
And my body's fragile frame
And she is the one who did this, knowing it would hurt.
And we tried so hard to keep her straight, instead of in the dirt.
And they are but flecks upon muscle of heart and of brain,
And I am the one making lists of things when four thirty in the morning brings pain.
I never remember 11:11
nor do I see shooting stars
I'm so confused of heaven since I'm here, and i don't know where you are.
I want wings and open fields to fly or run with pride
I want to remember how it feels to live with exposed eyes
I want to love fully and let go
instead of behind bars
But at times like these, the echos
ring like wheels in speeding cars.
Sometimes I don't know if God exists, although I still capitalize His name.
Sometimes I'm afraid of love since I lost it that one day
Sometimes I think of you, searching for verification
when I'm the only one awake at five in the morning, begging for justification.
